Why You Judge & How To Stop

Updated: Feb 24



I want you to think about a time where you felt really uncomfortable in a room of people


Where were you? What was the event?

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What was going on that made you feel so uncomfortable?

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How did you feel about that?

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Now...what were your thoughts about the other people in the room?

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When the social occasion was all over, how did you feel?

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I'm gonna make a grand assumption and say that you felt like shit and that you were secretly bitching everyone out in your head. AmIright?! Just kidding. Sort of. 


But let's narrow this down further. Were you judging other people in this social situation? The answer is probably yes. 


Which brings us to today's topic: judgement. Because to be literal...every day is judgement day. No, not the biblical one. But the one where we’re challenged whether or not to judge others and ourselves on a daily basis.


The whole point of this article is to bring your awareness to what you do when you're in an uncomfortable situation. But more importantly, how to move past these uncomfortable, judgy thoughts and instead... access your higher self. 


Recall the questions from the beginning. At any point during that social interaction...did you judge? Did you judge someone else? Yourself?

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Here's a major question: why?

Why did you judge that person in that social situation? Or...why did you judge yourself?

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But here’s the bigger question: did you feel the need to protect yourself because of your discomfort in the situation?

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There could be a million legitimate reasons why someone decides to judge. But more often than not...we judge to protect ourselves. We judge because we don't understand. We judge because sometimes we don't even have a clue we're doing it. 


So here's our main takeaway: we judge. But does this act help us? Does judging help us achieve happiness? Does judging help us to feel love? Peace? Acceptance?

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So let's approach this from a very self-centered perspective. 


We all want happiness, right? We want love from others, right? We want acceptance? Peace? Yea, yea...you get the picture. 


What if judgment was the sole problem keeping us from those things? 


What if judgment for ourselves…..or judgment of others was the very thing keeping us from happiness? Love? Acceptance? Peace?


——————————— Pause for dramatic effect ————————————


What happens if we consciously decide to stop? 

What if we decide to catch ourselves judging and we consciously decide to redirect our thoughts instead? 


Would we feel happier? More at peace? More accepting of ourselves? 


I think...yea. But it doesn't really matter what I think. What matters in this article is you. What matters is your opinion. Your answers. Your perception of judgment. Because at the end of judgment day, you are the only one responsible for you. 


So I challenge you with this exercise...


1. Catch yourself the next time you feel uncomfortable in a certain situation or in an awkward social gathering.


2. Watch how you react. Witness how you feel. Be aware of how you think.


3. Observe if you judge someone or yourself. 


Then…


4. Envision your chest. Visualize your beating heart. Know that there is a light streaming out of your heart. 


5. Now imagine the other person. No matter how nasty, mean or different that person is to you...they have the exact same thing. They have a beating heart. And that heart has light pouring out of it, too.  


6. If you can put all of your mental efforts into visualizing this...then you have officially made the conscious effort to stop judging. It may take a ton of practice to actually stick...but, hey...no judgment here. 





This exercise is more than just realizing your own behaviors and patterns around judgment. Doing these exercises in the moment is you taking charge of your free will and consciously choosing to see the light in someone else instead of judging them. Because when you consciously choose to see someone else’s light instead of the wrongs they’ve done, then you yourself are enlightening. You yourself are that much closer to experiencing happiness. You're that much closer to discovering peace and that much closer to achieving acceptance. Not only for yourself, but for others.  


Because we all know it's wrong to judge. We know we should stop. It's hard because everyone else keeps doing it to us. But if we actually...


1. Pause

2. Become aware of our judgment in the moment

3. Focus on our similarities than our differences


...then we are on our way to further aligning with our higher selves. And really, that’s where we wanna be on judgment day (yes, this time I actually am referencing the Bible. Or the zombie apocalypse. Or whatever you prefer).